Moving on out

Well, it's not long now before we move out of our beloved Horokiwi home and launch into our new life in Christchurch, the form of which is more uncertain than I am comfortable with.  It's been a lonely and isolating year, with Steve and I geographically and emotionally having to lead quite different lives out of necessity, and me effectively being imprisoned on the hill due to a 18 week saga with a broken arm and not being able to drive for a lot of that time, nor do the things I enjoy.  Steve has been commuting to Christchurch for the week days since April so it will be interesting working together as a family unit again.

 

We made the decision to uproot our life and move down south in response to the huge need for Steve's skills in Christchurch post earthquake.  As a structural engineer, you don't get more meaningful and exciting opportunities than those that follow a few monty earthquakes in a developed country with big insurance dollars coming in.  And this in a city that educated the both of us, in which I did a lot of growing up and for which I still hold a great love, despite most of my old haunts being munted.  It is still the gateway to many outdoor adventures which I hope to be sharing with my children and Christchurch will rise again, stronger, quirkier, greener...

 

But I feel a lot of grief for some wonderful friendships I'm leaving behind and the Steiner schooling and community my children will now not experience.  I have been living with this feeling that the rug has been pulled from under my feet.  One of the biggest weepy moments was packing Kasper's Class 1 crayon and library bags that now will never be used in that context.  And then there's all those traditions, festivals and class camps I was looking forward to that now are vaporising into niggling regrets for what could have been (despite there being other opportunities at the new school, I know).  It's been a year tussling with huge questions around community, friendships, conflicting loyalties, life purposes, responsibilities, being a 'grown up' and what constitutes a home town.  I don't know that I will ever have the answers!  And then there's what is best for us individually, and as a family, and then the wider family... 

Finally there is the question of how self indulgent / egotistical or how meaningful it is to keep a blog!  However, the minute I started toying with the concept I found it to be strangely therapeutic in terms of processing and engaging my Will for the tasks ahead and replacing intrepidation with a sense of adventure.  So for now, I will continue, as this is purpose enough in itself.  I will leave you with a picture of Hanna and Kasper testing the camping shower Steve has put together for our new digs.